Today is your 13th birthday.
I'm sure you don't even realize the significance of it or feel any different today. Birthdays are not something that you are used to celebrating, so today was probably just an ordinary day for you. Getting up and going to school, playing with your friends, doing chores, and eating the same thing as every other day. I am pretty sure you don't even know when your birthday is.
Oh how I had hoped to celebrate with you on this special day. 13 is a big year and it is hard to believe that we have missed out on so much of your life. You are on your way to becoming a man and we are watching you grow up through a few pictures and letters every few months. It is hard to have you and M so far away, especially on days like these.
I want to be able to sing (horribly out of tune!) to you and watch you open presents and make your very favorite food for dinner. I want to see your smile when you come downstairs in the morning to the silly tradition of donuts on the special red plate with a candle on top. I want to take you out on a mom and son date and talk about anything you want or nothing at all. I want to see all of your siblings get excited to make homemade cards and blow up balloons and celebrate the gift that you are. And I want to see your daddy taking you aside to teach you and show you what it looks like to be a man. Because that is what he does with his sons. And you are now one of them. Our son.
N, it breaks my heart to think that we have missed out on 13 years of your life. 13 birthdays have come and gone and we have never been there. But Lord willing, that is about to change. I love you my sweet smiling son. I never would have dreamed that I would be so anxious and excited to have another boy after I had vowed that we would NEVER have any more boys in this house! And yet here I am thrilled to call you my son and can't wait for the day when you and M are a part of our family forever.
Happy 13th Birthday son. I pray that you would feel especially blessed today, that you would be encouraged as you wait and that the Lord would allow us to be re-united soon.
We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives, so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.