Not today

For the past week, I have been a little more anxious each time the phone rings and a lot more impatient as I check my email repeatedly throughout the day. We have been expecting to hear news about our adoption for the past several weeks, specifically news about court. Last week I finally talked with our agency about our case and I was told that there have been more changes happening (oh really, what's new?!) and that there is a very real possibility that one change in particular will affect our case significantly.

As I got off the phone with the gal from our agency, I could feel the stress and emotions start to well up inside me.
Again.
I mean, c'mon- have we not been through enough already in the past year? Have we not felt enough pain and frustration and heartache yet? Have we not cried enough over the loss of more and more time with our 2 precious children?  Have they not spent enough time in an orphanage without a family to love them?

Apparently not.

Yes, I know that God is sovereign and that His timing is "perfect" but honestly each day that goes by and each hurdle we have to get over makes it just a bit harder to feel what we know to be the truth.

Our agency said that we should hear something either last week or for sure this week. (Which explains my obsession with needing to be checking email constantly.) And each day that comes and goes without any kind of news is hard.

We are praying once again for God to do a miracle in this situation. I am not going to go into detail yet about what exactly is going on, but just know that Randy and I can not find even ONE good thing about it if it happens. We have cried and prayed and wondered why we are in this process at the very time of so much change and uncertainty, but we just don't have an answer. All we know is that we love N and M fiercely and it is that love for them and the God who created them that keeps us fighting and praying that they would finally come home. And when that day comes... oh the rejoicing!!!

I know there are so many of you who have been praying and I can't even put into words how grateful we are for you. Keep praying. This story is not over yet and I know that He will be faithful to complete what He has begun. It is not our story at all. It's God's. And I have a feeling that it's just about to get to the good part! :)

So, in case you were about to ask me the million dollar question: "Any news yet?" My answer is sadly no.



Not today.

But there's always tomorrow....