Do I know Calvary love?

If in any way, I belittle those who I am called to serve...
if I talk of their weak points in contrast, perhaps, with what I think of as my stronger points...
if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting to consider the wisdom of the voice that asks me, inwardly, "Who made you different from the one you are criticizing- and what do you have that you have not been given?"...
if I can easily discuss the shortcomings or the sins of any man or woman...
if I can speak in an off-handed way, even of a child's wrongdoing...
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I hold on to choices of any kind, just because they are my choices...
if I give more room to my private likes and dislikes...
if I am soft on myself and slide easily and comfotably into the vice of self-pity and eliciting sympathy...
if I do not, by the grace of God, build a fortress around my inner man to protect it from my own soulishness...
if, the very moment I am conscious of the shadow of "self" crossing that inner threshhold, I do not shut the door and (in the power of Him who works in us to will and to do) keep that door shut...
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If the praise of others elates me...
if the blame of others depresses me...
if I cannot rest when I am misunderstood, without defending myself...
if I love to be loved, more than to give love...
if I love to be served, more than serving...
then I know nothing of Calvary love.

~Amy Carmichael, missionary to India 1895-1951