This is my prayer, my "resolution" so to speak for the new year.
A verse that the Lord has given me for this season of my life. Actually He has given it to me multiple times before, I have just failed to let it sink in fully! I am a verrrrry sloooow learner!
I want to live wisely and make the most of every opportunity as Paul challenges the Ephesians to do. I don't want to live foolishly and more than anything I want to understand what the Lord's will is.
Each morning I have a choice to make that will have eternal consequences- I can choose to seek first the kingdom of God and live wisely, or I can choose my own kingdom (or QUEENDOM as some have put it) and be on the foolish path of destruction. And oh how grateful I am for His GRACE that covers me when I foolishly choose my desires (which unfortunately I do) and for His MERCIES that are new every single morning!
I have not been in the "blogging mood" lately and I am beginning to realize that maybe it is because the Lord is teaching me and helping me to grow through meditating on this scripture. You see, I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to certain things and I am always putting pressure on myself to make sure everything is just right or comparing my circumstance with someone else. And then when it isn't perfect, I get upset and just want to give up.
For example, most of you who read this blog know that a few years ago I started something called Pictures for a Purpose. As someone who knew very little about photography, it was a learning process and it ended up being a great way to raise a lot of the funds needed for Elliana's adoption. Fast forward two years, a new camera and a few online classes later. We are now in the adoption process again and once again are "advertising" to our friends and family that I am doing Pictures for a Purpose. And here is my struggle. I know I am not a professional and honestly I really don't have any plans to make this a business, but I want to just all of a sudden be really good and be able to do it all. You know, get the perfect exposure right away, have amazingly cool shots at amazingly cool locations, know how to use photoshop (or own photoshop for that matter), have a logo, a website, a cool blog, create a facebook page, a new lens, be like so and so, etc, etc! You see how I took something fairly simple- taking family portraits for our adoption fund- and turned it into this huge undertaking! I just want to give up before I even start- and I am asking myself... is this living as wise or unwise? Am I making the most of every opportunity by stressing over all these things that I really have no time for? NO. It sounds like it has become more about ME than about the ADOPTION.
And so with each day I am slooowly learning that: a) I cannot be a professional photographer while I have a million other responsibilities, and b) God has given me EVERYTHING I need to accomplish the the tasks and ministries of each day when I choose to rely on HIS POWER.
I have so many stories STILL to share about Africa and I really hope that I can post at least a few of them here sometime, but if I don't, then I am content with knowing that I have done the Lord's will each and every day. And of course I hope to be sharing the news of our adoption process with you all as time goes on. We are still very early on in the process but have already seen so many amazing miracles that we are confident that the Lord is going to do HUGE things through these two children!
Speaking of HUGE things, I wanted to give you an update on how the Lord has provided thus far.
As of yesterday, our GREAT and MIGHTY GOD has provided $18,000 for this adoption!!!!!! Can you believe that??? And of course we know that He used YOU- our dear amazing FAMILY and FRIENDS to do that!!! We are completely humbled and beyond grateful for the amazing outpouring of love by so many. You know who you are- and you have blessed us tremendously!!! Never in our wildest dreams could we have imagined that we would already be half way funded after only being in process for a month! Our God truly has proven that His plans WILL prevail- nothing, not even $ will stop these kids from becoming a part of our family. Wow. THANK YOU so much.
Can't wait to see what He has for the future! :)
This then is how I want to live:
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.